Catfish.

Was watching Catfish the TV show - the episode with Kya & Dani - and I ashamedly admit that in the end when the lovebirds are on the beach, I wished that Kya were thinner. Ridiculous. You get so used to seeing thin people in romantic comedies that when you see real-life-sized people it's odd. Something doesn't sit right.

I wonder if that's what people think when they see me and Hubby walking hand in hand. I'm sure we've been judged, that's just human nature. No matter how hard you work to change your "wrong" way of thinking, to grow as a person, there's still that flash of the old, bigoted, ugly you before your enlightened being can bitch slap it back to your subconscious.

I also saw the episode with Rico. That man is so frick'n unbelievably gorgeous. I kept giggling idiotically to myself when his beautiful mug came up on the screen. Lust turned to sadness, though, when I realized that he reminded me of a dear friend that I knew in high school. His name was Chad and he died suddenly at the age of 29 from a DVT. Ug and now I'm sad. Goddamnit.

The Biggest Loser.

Okay, so I'm a bit late to the Biggest Loser bandwagon. I started watching this season and got hooked so I added all of the previous seasons to my HuluPlus account. I'm currently in the middle of season 1.

It's so crazy to look at these people and realize that their starting weight is lower than what I currently weigh. AND THEY LOOK SOOOO FAT! I don't feel that fat. I mean, sure I've got fluff and when the tv goes dark I can see the reflection of a morbidly obese person staring at me, but I don't feel fat.

Yesterday TBL inspired me to make a Costco run to pick up the family-sized portions of fruits. Unfortunately, I'm still recovering from surgery and majorly overdid it. Damn you Costco!!! *shaking fist into the air* You've foiled me again!

Right now I've got some frozen organic chicken boobies in the oven. I bought the village-sized frozen green beans that I'm looking forward to devouring too. Very exciting. I might actually take some photos tomorrow.

The 'Bits.

Had the girly bits removed at the end of last year. Recovery has been going splendidly, but I can't wait until I'm healed completely. I think this year is going to be a good one.

The Ultimate Sweetener.

"The Ultimate Sweetener" more like The Ultimate Cleanser. The last time I felt like this was when I was tempted by those potato chips made with Olestra. Yeesh.

The can says, "Using excessively may cause a laxative effect." No shit. Well...

We made some lemonade with lemons, a pitcher of water, and 3/4 of a cup of The Ultimate Sweetener. It wasn't even that sweet. This stuff cannot be good for me if it makes my body do this. It's been over 6 hours now and my stomach is still gurgling. Sonofabiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.

New 'Do.

Got myself a new haircut. Did a Google search for "short hair on fat women" and found the fat girls + short hair = YES! tumblr. I fell in love with this hair cut --> and went for it!! This, of course, is not me... just some adorable wee kid with an schweet hair cut and style.

When I was doing my search, I ran across some blogs that suggested that chubby chicks not get short cuts or trendy cuts for that matter. LOLWAT?! The style of your hair should have nothing to do with your weight, it's all about your inner rock-star self. We have a short time on this big rock hurling through space. LIVE!

Time to Unburry.

I will admit that for the last two years since I've been diagnosed with Lupus, I've buried my head in the sand about learning about it. It's fucking scary, Lupus, so it's totally understandable why I'd do that. I've been dealing with the very real chance of dying since 2004... holy crap... I just realized that it's been almost 10 years since my stroke (yep, I had a stroke). Ug, I'm all over the place. There's SO much that I want to get out of my head and into this blog.

BACK TO THE POINT

I ordered a book from Amazon this evening about eating to reduce inflammation. I think a lot of what I've been eating is bad for me. Of course it is, before Fat Camp I was eating fast food almost 3 times a day. I was so tired that I couldn't make food at the house. Unless you've got an autoimmune disease (or currently have the flu), you can say you know how that feels, but you really don't.

Fingers hurt. Can't type.

My New Roomie.

I have a girlfriend, let's call her Elle, who has been my partner in joining Weight Watchers at least a dozen times over the years. She's never been able to drop much weight, but she still keeps trying. About a month ago, we got a crazy idea in our heads that maybe it was time for drastic measures. I mean, here I am thinking about slicing open my body to remove a huge chunk of one of my organs, so I was willing to try anything.

She had just lost her job and was depressed about her future. The Mr and I had just bought a new (to us) car and could use some help to pay for it, so Elle and I decided to create Fat Camp. She moved into our spare bedroom (well, it was The Mr's man-cave) and since then we've re-joined Weight Watchers, started eating healthier, and have been making major changes to our overall health (spiritual, physical, emotional).

Yes, there have been a few bumps in the road, but overall it's been awesome. We've been able to talk about all of our eating issues (pft, more like subscriptions) and have been great sources of motivation for one another (from positive to wanting to beat the other's healthier way of living for bragging rights).

Edit: Dude. I just realized that I've already written about this. Perfect example of Lupus in action.

Part of Fat Camp is to write in our journals daily. Heh. You can see how I've been doing with that. Don't you judge me.