FBC's Bariatric Pre-Op Liquid Diet for Weenies

I've been cleared for the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy and am on day 3 of the pre-op liquid diet. It ain't so bad really. The reason I'm able to say that is because I've adjusted the diet to fit my needs (that's how I roll, behbeh). I knew I wasn't going to be very successful if I stuck to the 3 protein shakes, I small meal under 300 calories, and 1 tiny snack under 200 calories. I feared for the life of my sweet chihuahua and her tasty, wee appetizer-like legs.

The way I saw it was if I stuck to the whole foods under 500 calories and the rest in shakes, I'd be okay. Thankfully my doc was peachy with the way I wanted to mix it up (pft ft ft, get it? "Mix" it up... [I'm on a drastically reduced meal plan, we ain't gonna strike gold here folks]). So, might I present to you...

Fat Brown Chick's Sleeve Pre-Op Liquid Diet for Weenies

Breakfast:	Calories	Protein
1/2 Cup Egg Whites	63	13
1 Medium Bell Pepper (1/3 each of Red, Orange, Yellow)	24	1
1/4 Cup Medium Onion	12	0
1 Cup Spinach	7	1
1/2 Protein Shake (OhYeah!)	110	17.5
Breakfast Subtotal	216	32.5
Snack:
1/2 Protein Shake (OhYeah!)	110	17.5
Lunch:
2 Cups Romaine Lettuce	16	1
1.5 Oz Chicken Breast	70	13
.5 Oz Fat Free Crumbled Feta (from Trader Joe's)	17.5	2.5
1/2 Medium Tomato	11	.5
1/2 6" Cucumber w/o Skin	9	0
1/2 5.5"/2 Oz Carrot (Shredded)	10	0
1 Tablespoon Kraft Zesty Italian Dressing (Fat Free)	7.5	0
Lunch Subtotal	141	17
Snack:
1 Protein Shake (Jay Robb's Egg White Protein)	120	24
Dinner:
See Lunch	141	17
1/2 Protein Shake (OhYeah!)	110	17.5
Dinner Subtotal	251	34.5
Dessert/ Late Night Snack:
1 Cup Pre-Packaged Red Grapefruit (Costco)	110	1
1/2 Protein Shake (OhYeah!)	110	17.5
Total	1058	144

Since I'm lactose intolerant, I have to stick with lactose-free protein shakes. OhYeah! ready-to-drink shakes pack in 35 grams of protein and are pretty decent tasting. They come in chocolate, vanilla creme, strawberries & creme, cookies & creme, and bananas & creme. What I like about these is that I feel like I'm being decadent when I drink them. They remind me of having the naughty full-fat chocolate milk you got when your were a kid.

The other lactose-free protein powder I have is Jay Robb Egg White Protein. It comes in chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, and unflavored and they're all 24 grams of protein. I haven't tried the unflavored one, but the first three are pretty good. They're kinda expensive, but I'm scared of having some weird milk allergy, so I started off with these. If you're on your way to a bariatric surgery, you can get the sample kit through the Jay Robb website. But really, just head down to the Vitamin Shoppe and they have the packets there too.

A fit friend of mine turned me on to TrueNutrition.com. It's a cool site because you can choose your flavors and sweeteners in addition to your protein. They've got whey, egg, rice, beef, pea, and hemp protein (I'm sure there are others). I bought some of the beef protein to add to my chicken and beef broth. I was hoping to make a kick-ass horchata protein shake with the vanilla rice w/splenda one that I got. No dice. Not. Good.

On a not-really related note, is it weird that I feel like these nutrition websites are judging me for not being healthy enough? Like they're being run by super fit, snobby muscle-heads who just know that my IP address is that of a fat person. Don't even get me started about walking into the Vitamin Shoppe...

What're you doing here? Like, ohmygah... *hair flip*