P90 Day 1: Sweat A & Shakeology

I survived. And I filmed the entire thing. I haven't yet taken a look at it, but I'm sure it'll be AMAZING for a good, hearty laugh. My hope is that by the end of the process I'll be able to look back at my flabbier self, point, and laugh.

Overall, I'm loving the new P90 series. I like the A, B, and C series breakdowns. The beginner level, A, is nice and easy for beginners such as myself. I didn't ever feel like I was going to die, but I felt like I had a great workout and that the entire thing was doable. There were a lot of times when I lamented that I had the coordination of a drunk monkey and I had to stop/modify the exercises more than I liked, but I'm pleased with Sweat A. M'yes, pleased. *inward hand waiving like the Queen Mum*

They've updated the Ab Ripper portion too. I like it a lot. I'm not sure about the, what I like to refer to as the "Unstable Tamale," ab exercise. It's the second one and I'm not sure I'm doing it right. I feel like a little kid wrapped up like a tamale, screaming for help, while she's flopping back and forth. Not suave or sexy in the least.

Afterwards, I decided to test out the Shakeology Chocolate shake. They send you a  7-day sample pack in addition to some shake recipes. I chose to do the Chocolate-Covered Strawberries, which was 2 scoops of the shake powder, 1 cup of (frozen) strawberries, and 1 cup water.

The shake blended beautifully - it looked really creamy and smelled pretty good. I actually filmed my first taste (which I'll include here once I upload it). It was very good, but something in it tasted tart. Not sure if it was the strawberries or something else.

Unfortunately, within the hour I started having tummy rumblings and for the past 1/2 hour, gastric distress (to put it in a lady-like way). Aaaaaaand, upon looking it up right now on the interwebs, it looks like it's a common occurrence. Not saying that everyone will have the same reaction, I know that sometimes I'm a bit sensitive to stuff. BUT HEY, it ain't all bad; if you're constipated, Shakeology could help you out! Lemons: lemonade.

P90 Day 1: Sculpt A

When the box arrived, I was literally too excited to open it. It lay on my floor for a good half hour before I pulled out the scissors and went to town. For the week that I was waiting for it to be delivered, I went on and on about how MY LIFE WAS GOING TO CHANGE OMGIWASGOINGTOBECOMESOFIT... just as soon as it got here.

Then it showed up and, fuck, that meant that I actually had to... exercise. WTF had I done?!

"Okay, you can do this, Chickie." I repeated the mantra in my head. I pulled out all of the matching literature, unwrapped the colored bands, attachments, and big black mat (all of which stunk of chemicals that I know were not good for the environment or for me to be inhaling). I popped in the DVD and then came the onslaught of advertisements: BUY THESE SHAKEOLOGY SHAKES OR YOU WILL CONTINUE SUFFERING THE SUBHUMAN EXISTENCE YOU CALL YOUR LIFE. GET A COACH. BUY MORE PRODUCTS. JOIN US... JOIN USSSSS!!!!

All in all it was a great workout. Like the original Power 90, P90 kicks your ass while subtly trying to sell you stuff. In the Power 90, it was the "supplements." In P90, it's the goddamn Shakeology (which evidently cures cancer) and getting you to buy into the "coaching" thing.

Digression on "coaching": when I signed up, I was super excited about ALL that Tony Horton could give me. One of the selling points is that you get your own individual "coach" that will basically be your best friend in this world and walk you through the horrors of exercising your saggy body. Woo! Yah! Just what I need! 

Imagine my surprise when, upon signing up on the Beachbody website, my "coach" was a more mature woman who did not in any way, shape, or form have a beach body. I had absolutely no objections to her being older (she actually wasn't much older than I am), it's just that her body didn't inspire or motivate me to want to continue the program. I guess I had a different expectation of what a Beachbody Coach was supposed to look like. Anyway, I was not impressed, but I thought, hell, maybe she was REALLY GOOD at motivating weaklings such as myself and I continued with my profile. 

When I start a project, I get really excited and start posting on forums, trying to connect to people who are participating like I am. So, when I decided to do P90, I was searching all of the boards trying to find fellow P90ers who could help motivate me (and vice versa). It was shortly after my posts that I started receiving messages that, while initially seemed innocent and supportive, were actually veiled attempts at "coaching" me. That's when Beachbody got really dirty to me. 

WTF is coaching? Basically it's an MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) type scheme, like Amway, Quixtar or Herbalife, where "coaches" sell you Beachbody shit in order to get a % off of the crap that they buy. Do these coaches actually help you succeed? I have no idea, I haven't looked too much into it because it left a really bad taste in my mouth. I'm sure that there are some really great "coaches" out there who are genuinely interested in helping people set and keep their goals. As soon as I find anyone cool, I'll pass it on.

Other than the funky smell of the mat and workout bands (it took about 5 times of me washing my hands to get the stank off), my first workout was a really great. I didn't even use weights or bands for the regular floor exercises. I think I'll eventually get some hand weights, because trying to yank the bands from the door contraption for a set of reps is kinda a pain in the ass (#FirstWorldProblems).

My new desktop background.

I'm really excited about the program. I've decided to focus on the Sculpt, resistance-based schedule because the gastric sleeve surgery is taking care of the weight loss. I just need to build muscle. I've lost about 85 lbs in 11 months and with quick weight loss comes quick muscle loss. And with muscle loss comes brittle bones, breakage, and DEATH! Well, maybe not death, per se, but it could happen...

At the moment, I can't do even one push-up. I'm looking forward to seeing what my body is capable of doing.

Beachbody's New P90: The Revamped Power 90.

Before P90X, there was Power 90. It was sweet and innocent, Tony Horton was young and adorable, and life was uncomplicated. It was a program that was broken down into bite-size pieces so it didn't seem like you were undertaking a long workout, but the burn was so good.

The only problem was that Power 90 was a bit dated. Here are crappy copies of a couple of the DVDs on YouTube so you can see what I mean:

Power 90: Sweat 1-2
Power 90: Sculpt 1-2

There were also more advanced Sweat and Sculpt 3-4 DVDs included in the package, but when I got to that level it was too long, or the sun was out, I dunno, something happened and I gave up.

Now that I'm under 160lbs, I'm terrified that I will stall and start gaining if I don't get some muscle on this fiiiiine frame. As I was looking up forums on reddit, I found ye olde r/P90 subreddit and happened upon the news of the update. It seems that with the success of the P90(X, 2, 3), Beachbody decided to revamp the original Power 90 and call it P90.

Being the Horton fangirl that I am, after squealing for about 20 minutes, I pulled out my well-used card and ordered that bright and shiny toy right up! 3 different phases (a different phase per month), a Saturday Special DVD, 3 powerful bonus tools (ZOMG!!!), and 4 free bonus gifts!!! *screaming while eyes melting* And if I finish, I could get a P90 "I Hit It" t-shirt. Oh the special-ness!! All for only two easy payments of $39.99!!!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!! If I acted now (or then, as the case was), I could get the DELUXE package which included another deluxe DVD with exercises, TWO more bands, some Shakeology and a yoga mat. For only $79.90 more!!!! What a deal!!!!!

*sigh* I bought it. I bought it all. In total, this thing is going to cost me $174.18 ($159.80 + $14.38 in taxes). Sweet Jaysus, that sounds a lot more horrible than 2 easy payments of $39.99. *eye twitch* I can try to justify it all I want, but that's a shit-load of money for a revamp of a workout that I already have. But, I'm only on day one... and if this new thing actually gets me off of my ass and building muscle, I will gladly pay that (and I also have the fail-safe, which is to return everything and just pay the s&h).

Goddamn it, Tony, you'd better make this worth my while.

Almost a Hundred Pounds of Weight Loss.

Sleeve Gastrectomy Weight Loss

Almost 100 lbs of weight lost. From my highest weight till about a week ago. The bulk of the loss, of course, has been this year. In January, when I decided to get the sleeve gastrectomy, I was 239 lbs. I think the morning of the surgery (on April 7th), I was 217 lbs (-22 lbs in the 3 months it took to get clearance).

I've been stuck around 162 +/- 2lbs for a couple of weeks, which prompted me to look into adding *gulp* exercise to my life. Egads. I'm also starting to feel like I have that slumped "extreme-weight-loss" look. You know what I mean? After years of carrying so much extra weight, your posture gets all messed up.

Me.

The saggy skin doesn't bother me too much, but if there's something that I can sorta do about it, I feel like I should. So, I need to bulk up a bit to fill in the skin with something other than fat. OH SWEET LORD, I'm totally lying, I forgot about the turkey neck. Oh gahd... the turkey neck...

It's so annoying because that wrinkly bastard is what's aging me. YOU SONOFABITCH TURKEY NECK!!! YOU DIE! YOU DIE AND YOU GO TO HELL!!!!!

I Did It! I Did It!

For some reason, I haven't blogged since March... and there's SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT. I had the Sleeve Gastrectomy on April 14, 2014 and it was THE BEST DECISION I'VE MADE regarding my health.

While the weight loss is awesome, the removal of the hunger hormone has made a world of difference in my life. At this point, I am no longer obsessed with food. Like, I can be in the same room with a piece of chocolate cake and NOT be thinking about all the naughty things my body wants to do to it.

Life has changed. It is soooo good. :)

As a teaser, here are some side-by-side photos of me at my heaviest, pre-op, and one taken a couple weeks ago. I plan to fill up this blog with info about the process, the food I bought to get me through the phases, tools for success, and stuff on dealing with Lupus throughout all of it. I have a girlfriend in NYC, whom I adore, who is planning on getting the sleeve done too. I hope that this site will serve as a go-to guide for her.

Pre-Op Liquid Diet: Day 5

Pretend these are grapefruits.

Sweet holy hormones, peoples. My gahd, today was shiiiiitty. I wanted to knife everyone around me and almost started crying in the grocery store when the grapefruits spilled out of the produce bag. I felt like I was a bumbling character in a silent movie: grapefruits everywhere.

My body is trying to make sense of what I'm putting it through. Going from ~3000 calories a day down to >1200 is a big change. Today was also the first day that I saw a sign for a food item where I had a physical I-WANT-IT-NOW reaction. It was a sign for 2 doughnuts for $1 at 7/11. Fuck'n 7/11. IHATETHEMSOBADRIGHTNOW!!!!

In other news, I've found a FANTASTIC end of the day snack. Put a Cookies & Creme OhYeah! smoothie and a frozen banana in a blender. Ooooohmygah. So good.

I also tried a protein shake suggested by Shelly at TheWorldAccordingToEggFace since I wanted to branch out a bit. It is as follows:

Butterscotch Shake
8 oz. water or 4 oz. soy milk/4 oz. water
1 scoop of vanilla protein powder
1 T. SF Jello Butterscotch Pudding Powder
2 Ice Cubes 

Place water in the blender first, then powder, then additions. Blend on low then high till well blended.

The problem is that I tried it with the vanilla egg protein powder. Lemme tell ya a little some'n about blending egg protein. It foams. A lot. *whispering* So much foam.

P.S. Did you know that the plural of grapefruit can either be grapefruit or grapefruits? Isn't that interesting? When I was proofing this entry, the word "grapefruits" seemed really weird to me. It reminded me of my girlfriend from Taiwan who pronounces the plural of foot as feets. I've always thought that was so adorable. Makes me want to call them grapefeets now. Heh heh.

Hi My Name is FBC... And I Am a Water Bottle Addict.

There's just something about a new water bottle that gets me so frick'n excited. Maybe it's because I feel like a super healthy person just carrying it around. In my head, when people see me, they're like, "Man, that chick's got it goin' on. She's so hydrated and Earth conscious. No throw away cups for this gal. If only I were cool enough to be that girl's friend."

Holy crap, wait till I drop a few sizes and get a YOGA MAT! Woo hoooo! My shit will not stink then. I've already got the huge LA sunglasses. THE SUPER COOL TRIFECTA!!! I'll be a star! A star, I tell ya!

But I digress...

This journal entry is all about my most beloved water bottle evar: the Cool Gear Infusion. 54 luscious ounces of crisp, clean wah-wah. This bad boy is badass. It's got a big handle and a spout that doesn't spit at you when you're opening it or sucking on the straw. It also comes with a removable freezer thingy that keeps your water cold without adding ice. I don't use it 'cause it takes away precious water space. Right now it's on sale at Target for less than $7! Say what?!

What does this all mean? Why would I want such a frick'n huge water bottle? Well, I'll tell yah. Fitty fo' ounces, my friends. We're supposed to have at least 64 ounces each day, I just have to have this one jug and I'm almost done! Two and I. Am. Set.

As a lazy person of not-wanting-to-movedness, this prevents me from having to make the 3 foot trek from the couch to the water dispenser. I find that I drink a lot more water 'cause it's just sitting there, staring at me. While it's kind a pain to travel with (it doesn't fit in cup holders and doesn't like staying still on the floorboard), it's nice to have on the road. You're always comforted in the knowledge that you could keep your loved ones, as well as a small family of badgers, hydrated if you got stuck on the side of the road.

Ah, but I will be sad in a little over a week when I have to give up my trusty friend, for a non-straw (*coughinferiorcough*) regular glass. For the straws are a no-no with the gastrectomy patients. My wee banana pouchling will not be able to handle the additional air that comes with my suckling of the straw. Oh cruel fate...