The Incredible Shrinking Woman.

When I was being measured yesterday, the nurse repeated my height as she entered it into the computer. 5' 2 1/2". What? I asked, silently lamenting the crack addiction that she must be suffering with. She double checked and said, that yes, I was in fact a tiny midget. She then went back in the annals (*snicker, annals*) of her computer and found that when I was there 2 years ago I was the same height.

SAY WHAT?! As far as I've known, I've been 5' 3 3/4" since I was in high school. WTF, man? How could I have shrunk so much? I'm not in my 70's where that kind of shit is expected! I need to do some research. Can it possibly be because I have so much weight on my beautiful body? Does obesity, like cold air, cause shrinkage?

Let me see if I can find anything on the interwebs... brb.

What I'm gleaning is that the excess weight can cause spine compression and poor posture which can lead to a decrease in height. Sonofabitch. So, now I need to get one of those upside down bat hangy things that RICHARD GERE HAD IN AMERICAN GIGOLO!!! Woah, I was just referencing that movie yesterday.

Oh Richie... I'll be your gerbil any day.